Birthday with a Difference

(continued from previous post dated 15th March)
I resumed my monkey tricks instaneously. Sent her a
photo of a simian and tried to convince her that the
photo was hers! By now she had started adjusting well
to my pranks and even assured me that she'd sing me a
song on my birthday. So the crooked mind of mine,
worked up another trick....


lea - Liked ur return gift a lot ! Sweet. Oooff, am myself
relieved that u havent lost ur touch even in this mail,
thanks for that !But the picture which the camera took
of me, isnt that accurate u see...........I am not that fair,
my nose is much shorter, I dont have bulging blue eyes,
mine are plain big and black, my mouth isnt that wide,
and I am not blonde, I have long black curly hair ...........
So I am definitely not that pretty as the picture looks :-)
R, do u sing ?



kband - Yeah, now I get the picture. I'll modify the image
with Photoshop s/w as per your vivid description and
see if I like it ;-)) Though I lost my phone no. today, what
I gained was the no. of mails you sent me along with the
promise of your song on my b'day - btw did you know
that tomorrow is my b'day ? I have no pretensions as a
singer but if I'm out of employment maybe I can earn a
living by showcasing my musical talents in a train
compartment ! The notes just express my longingness
to know you better - Gaaner bhitor diye jokhon dekhi
bhubon khani........Sleep well Madhuri


lea - "Tumi hothath haowaye, bheshe asha khon, Hothath
paowaye chomke othe mon"
I have a sixth sense which helped me to know that its ur
bday today, otherwise why would i write abt singing u a
song on ur bday ?My dear R, Jonmodiner onek preeti o
shubhechcha janalam.......I couldnt find anything more
to say.....i browsed through a lot of sites, english as well as
bengali, but could find nothing that would be to your
liking and taste..........you are so different R. So i decided
to just wish you from my heart. of course the temptation
to call you was difficult to overcome.......but i thought it
better to be this way. Gaan-ta aapnaar paona roilo like
many other things. How do u feel today ? And what are
your plans ? Are you going to buy, or is someone going to
buy you new things and take you out on a "dinner date" ?
In our family (probably in all bengali families), payesh is
cooked by the mothers. But in our family this is only done
for the boy and not the girl. So I have to be content with
poncho shaak during lunch and of course cake, candles and
balloons in the evening !!! Imagine at this age :-)) I'll tell u
something funny which happenned on my friend's bday in
the US. this is the same "emergency vehicle" friend !
Since I am very fond of him, i thought i'd make him his
favourite "badaam milk". i took online consultation from
his friend (who was in australia then) on how to go about.
It took me about an hour to come with the badam milk
after harrassing many poor men, who lent me milk, sugar,
badam, the mixer and also the container in which i carried
the stuff to my friend's place, but none of them had the
fortune to even taste it. Anyway, so after the cake is cut
at 12 in the night and my friend gets his bday bumps
(ouch that hurts), i wait with baited breath for him to
remove the lid from my container. And guess what. he
takes a look at thing i have prepared, drinks it (rather
eats it) and then says "Yeh hai kya cheez?" And there
goes my badam milk....along witheverything i had
thought of. I had to literally force people to finish it off,
and most of it went down the drain. That was the biggest
fiasco of my life.
So,whats ur favourite food ? Oh no, dont worry, i am going
to refer to sanjeev kapoor (my saviour in many cases)
before i cook it up for u ;-))Now, i know, why there was a
no answer on the scorpio question.......u turn out to be a
taurean. do u believe in sun signs ?I am still thinking of
something special to say to you..................may be later in
the day. Let me not delay my wishes. Enjoy your day to
the fullest, and dont forget towrite to me about what you
did today. Signing off for now.......Madhuri
P.S. - The day u plan to "showcase your talent" in the
train let me know.....I'll book a seat. That is probably the
only way I can hear u sing ;-))
Why r u so worried abt having lost ur tel no..........after all
its just your tel no. not something more precious ;-)) As
an after-thought, I was wondering whether I should
actually call on that number. At least it would help me
make some wild guesses on ur age !! Oh did i scare you
(hee hee) ? R, Would you believe me if I say I were 42?
I keep getting these mails from 35+ weirdos who are
married, asking for a long/short term relationship and
promising to maintain absolute secrecy. What say you,
should I respond ? may be it would be interesting after
all. And then you would help me with the"discipline 007"
lines.



(to be continued)

A Mini Storm

(continued from previous post dated 7th March)

My brain had started working overtime. I wanted to
show how I smart I really was.


kband - MMMMMMMadhuri (the keyboard got stuck
giving the Sharukh effect),I told you that you have this
uncanny ability to send me back in time (it does wonders
to my cardiac condition), yup I'd been to Shantiniketan
once. Not to look for peace, not for the love of Tagore, but
to look for (you guessed it!) love (read lovely Lolitas). Four
of us from Kharagpur decided to take the overnight trip
and reach there in the wee hours of Ponchishe Boisakh
(the general consensus was that it was the ideal day for
bird-watching and if we're lucky, possibly cootchie-
cooing). Someone had a bright idea that the fastest way to
ecstasy would be to take a train to Purulia and then by bus
to Shantiniketan.So there we were, at Purulia around 9
PM only to learn that the next bus to Shantiniketan leaves
early morning at 5 AM!! Our efforts to hitch-hike a
truck-trip also proved futile and we had to spend the
night in a dhaba cursing our luck n Tagore's forefathers
(sorry bearded one, hope u don't mind). The bus got so
packed that we could only accommodate ourselves on the
roof and got going finally but the trip was enjoyable.
When we reached our destination, the show was already
over and we were left sulking at what could have been!
Undeterred we decided to soldier on and finally were
rewarded with success (Hooray) during the evening
cultural programme. There were other interesting
sidelights (unmentionable) and we returned next day with
soft n silky memories.
Perhaps now I can ask a question : I know some guys from
TCS who're planning to go to Shantiniketan, r u working
there ? Like the numerous unanswered queries of yours,
you too may decide to let it blow in the wind......



lea - U scare me now ! Though I do not work in TCS, but
do know quite a few guys there since our office is very
close to theirs. See, its no big deal for me to let u know
where i work and what i do........but i dont wantto end
up being a fool. i dont want you to show these mails of
mine to ur friends, and make fun of me. u never know,
i might actually know one of them, or my colleagues may
know them.........u see i have an uncommon name as far
as my company is concerned, and its not that big also.
it would be very easy for any of them to find out and i
know how guys are, they would distort anything. not
that i give a damn if theydo, but the very thought that
u might do somethinglike that..........i am sorry but i am
feeling scared now.



kband - Madhuri, I once gain apologise for the mental
agony that I've given you, quite inadvertently though.
Let me explain this, to believe it or not would entirely
depend on the strength of our week-old friendship
(if I can call it so) :
I ain't no conman, no fraud nor a cheap prankster. Just
another guy (like your nuumerous pals) who's probably
got the opportunity of his lifetime in developing
friendship without being bogged down by day-to-day
inhibitions. Much like children, who mingle easily with
each other with no shackles to bind them. One thing
that is dawning on me is that this isn't a simple challenge
and an extremely hazardous one at that. Years of
conditioning clouds our minds with worries, fears, pain
that is near impossible to get over. I tried to play mind
games with you in an effort to delve deeper into each
other's psyche without making it apparent - we had
been doing reasonably well. I savoured every moment
of it (not too sure now about you though) and tried to
open up as best as I possibly can. But then I stretched
things a bit too far. And I regret having done it, M.
In my misplaced enthusiasm, I tried to put pieces of the
jigsaw together to derive a picture of you and your
environment and I admit to have got carried away by
what was emerging. Let me state this emphatically - I
do not know anybody in TCS (at least now), it absolutely
does not matter to me and I never had any intention of
embarassing you. I have a fetish for privacy myself (as
you may have observed) so I can fully empathize with
you. Let me tell you another thing M, you've been privy
to my innermost being simply because I truly believe in
all that I have said about you, I swear by the Almighty !
Its a pity that things took such an unpredictable turn and
I'll never be able to forgive myself for this. So as a final
attempt I'll give you my Ph No. You can check out for
yourself in any manner you feel (be careful about not
giving away your no.) and decide what to do.



lea - I am going to apologise for being such a spoilt sport.
Theres no harm in admitting that.......I too haveenjoyed
every bit that has been exchanged because I never felt
the fear, inhibition which I would feel with or about
anyone. But some past experiences - so many people
have just taken advantage of my innocence, just made
fun of me, called me names...just because i have been
guillible. i accept that as my fault becauseu r not
supposed to be so stupid in today's world. but then, i
have become alert, and try not to hurt myself. I am not
going to lose my e-date ;-)) to my inhibitions though coz
i see much beyond this.........i see a great friendship........a
different friendship....a friendship which would not be
scarred by our fears and shackles. I am not going to
extend any further apologies and mind you if you do.
Lets forget these few mails and try and get ship wrecked
once again !So R, please revive ur naughty, flattering self
and pleeeeaaaazzzz those "mind games"....Boshe achi
potho cheye........



kband - Dear M, it takes me some time to get over
extreme situations, so pls bear it for some more time.
Am mighty relived (thanks to the Almighty!) that you're
back with me - tomay notun korey pabo boley harai
barey barey. Return gift is attached, hope u like it. Rana



(to be continued)

Grin n Bare

(continued from previous post dated 1st March)
In my frenzy to reach out to her by any means, I
committed a faux pas. Quite unintentionally my name
got revealed through my email id! I wasn't quite sure
what damage that could cause, if at all, but for the
moment there appeared no other option but to ignore
such glitches and soak in the mirth.


kband - Thousands and thousands of blue blistering
barnacles*#@$!This is what happens to smartest of
conmen, one wrong move, a single lapse of judgement
and you're a dead duck. I blame it all on your
intoxicating charm - first you ship-wreck me and then
get yourself marooned with me on this unknown
faraway island. We're fully exposed now, what is your
next move ? As for me, you've already drawn the
Laxman-rekha so let me go n fish. Maybe you can fry
some for me 'bong-ishtyle' and we can spend the days
collecting pebbles and counting stars....Is this the
'shorbonasher asha' you had made an ominous mention
about y'day ?Yeah, I've already experienced quite an
impressive display of your intellectual abilities, that's
what turns me on (oops, just joking). I'd borrowed the
part about Alto being the 'hottest' car from Maruti's
promos and the part about myself I'd borrowed from
thin air. I still don't think you are tempting me to be
anything but cool, but the invitation is hard to resist:)
Your name was guessable (once the other anagram
didn't work) but the teasing manner in which you
revealed that your mom fetches the mangoes was
maamorable!So you read my profile, let me tell you
that's a load of rubbish (I'm trying to do a Charles
Sobhraj now), the real me is here, in my words, my
letters, my moods.... I try to do the same thing about
you - I've created you from the seeds of imagination
and embellished it with your attitudes - "apon moner
madhuri misahye tomare korechi rochona".Good
Night, Madhuri.



lea - Dear R, Shorbonasher aar ki baaki ache ? Shei
din-i shorbonash deke aanlam jedin theke aapnake
e-date korte shuru korlam (hee hee hee hee) Hmm, now
i am wondering what and how much we have been
exposed. u were very smart when u tried to find out my
name thru that story of Neela and all that (u cheat). I
knew that u would find out what my real name is. It was
silly of me to keep that id, isnt it ? Anyway how does it
matter. So on which island are we marooned ? That
reminds me of the grt movie i watched (its a must see
if u havent watched it already) "Cast away" - Tom
Hanks. I once possessed a desire to marry him ! Oh he
was out of the world (literally), made me cry at the end.
So, if its that kind of an island.......you would have to
forget "fish fry", i can only make u a roast in the
absence of shorsher tel ;-)) btw i am not a good cook,
if at all i can say i am a cook. but i have sometimes
prepared pretty exotic dishes out of sanjiv kapoor's show
and won prizes in office parties. And thank god, i drew
the lakshman rekha, or else i dont think u r very trust-
worthy ;-))>>oh oh, i must tell you what we bought
yesterday from shopper's. i got myself 2 real hot tops,
one black full sleeve and the other lycra, half sleeve, light
brown with stripes on it. i am waiting for the day when i
can wear them to office ! i also got some mehendi done on
my left palm, they did it for free because we had done
purchases there. the colour came out so well. hey, we are
planning to visit shantiniketan in june, all my project team
members. have u ever been there ? u say ur profile is
untrue, but can i believe ur letters ? here too u decieve
me by flattering and u admit to that. ? khoob baaje !
And whatever u r imagining abt me...........beware they
might all be wrong.......u'd then be the dying to run away
from the island leaving me behind ;-)) "shei bhalo shei
bhalo amaare nahoy na jaano" -M
P.S - Have u seen the video of "Kaanta laga". I have not
yet watched it, but there is an article in anadabazaar on
it. Wonder whats so special abt that song ?



kband - Honestly Madhuri, you are an extraordinary
person - a versatile genius ! Thanks for enlightening me
about ur culinary skills, I can only admire in silence -
some people are really lucky. Do you still get any hint of
insincerity in the adulation I always feel like showering
on you, doesn't matter, I'll keep telling you exactly how
and what I feel. 'Kaanta Laga' is a modern adaptation of
the golden oldie which has been made 'famous' by the
gyrating midriff of a nubile nymphet (Shefali something,
who hails from a conservative Gujju family). The culture
police have raised a hue n cry about the erotica blah-blah
projected in the video all of which have enabled this
catchy song to scale the popularity charts and it's been a
regular on all the music channels. If you've not seen it
means that you're not quite a TV buff (another good
quality) but if you ever watch the song, you should make
your own judgement. Delhi papers are presently agog
with the other 'hot' news - Liz Hurley, Arun Nayar and
their explicit show of affection in public! Sign of the times,
what say ?Your smile, your giggles and your jovial nature
makes you a more attractive person than the mehndi on
your hands, the exotic nose studs or the hot tops you are
decked up with ! But don't worry M, I'll try not to belittle
your trust even though I seem to have taken enough
liberties already :-)) Na na go na, korona bhabona.....
I'm not able to concentrate today, let me wind up for now.



(to be continued)

Personal Stake

(continued from previous post dated 19th Feb)

The heart was beating a wee bit faster. The pulse, though
not exactly racing, couldn't just be kept normal as it was
being increasingly evident that she didn't dislike me after
all. Could that help me get a glimpse of a hidden world -
would I be able to take sneak peeks into domains I had
found difficult to venture. I needed her undivided
attention for that, get close and personal, my stake
was rooted in this urge.


lea - Shame on u for borrowing my opening line !!! So I
am going to cheat on you this time;-))OH Rana I simply
LOVE ur mails. And no harm in letting you know, that I
had guessed as much about ur "personal stake".......but
due to my shy nature (read "cautious") couldnt reveal
before getting the truth from the "horse's mouth". See,
I can be naughty too ! Now, since you are "pleading" me
for some "personal" attention, I am going to "allow" you
to write to another id. I am going to send you a mail
from there (I havent used that id as yet, so u will be the
fortunate one), and then you can reply. I think this is
enough leg pulling for today....now an important question,
is it possible to receive mails from other ids to the the one
u currently have. I am not too sure about that. Anyway,
we'll find out, let me send the mail. Or else you will also
have to choose another id for you.
Oh come on now, lets do away with our too many
formalities (oh dont get ideas now) like "you don't have
to give in to my banter" etc etc........thats taking up too
much space in the letter. Its understood that we like each
other's mails, so from now on, we will just write and write.
dont worry, i am not going to block ur id ever, promise,
unless you turn naughty ;-)) which i know you wont.
Oh, I have decided to be become more revealing (with
my name that is.....what were you thinking, silly?).....but
wondering as to whether i should give you my real name
or my nickname........ummmmmm, let me see..........the
barter should be on equal terms right ? U have given me
ur nickname, so here's mine - Dil thaamke baitheye !!!!!!!
NOOOO, i suddenly decided that i am not going to reveal
anything (hee hee)
come on now, dont be grumpy........read on........
Ur choice of musicians seems to be exactly matching mine.
right now I am listening to "Amaar shokol niye boshe achi
shorbonasher ashay". How can I not like rabindrasangeet?
And my allergy towards Ash for diff reasons altogether, I
mean Bond girls should be far too sexy (excuse my
language) and revealing (now in the real sense) than our
Ash could or should be. Nandita Das is also one of my
recent favourites, and u dont have to tell me what u felt
like, most of my friends are guys, so i know ! Brook
shields was a rage once, she started a trend for thick eye-
brows, do you know ? Well, I suppose no, coz she had far
too may things to arouse ur interest ;-)) I havent
watched any of her movies, though.
I dont know whether u have net access at home, i have.
Am i going to receive any mails from you in the weekend?
Your mails are wonderful to read, feels very different.
You flatter me too much when you say my mails can
bring peace and happiness to you. May be you do this
only to receive more mails from me, may be you say
this to all your numerous e-pals. Just kidding !
Ok then wish you a very good night ! Mail soon.
My parents call me "MAAM". Please try to pronounce
it right, I hate it when people get it wrong. Add
Ma(mother) with Aam(mango) and there u go.
I have several other names, but some other day.
And remember your promise, dont call me by this
name please.

*************************************************
Hopeless , simply hopeless !!! The Indiatimes mailbox,
the new id i gave you in the last mail. It keeps giving
some internal error, tried to send a mail to u thrice.
Offf, that just wont do. So for the time being, please
continue to mail me here.............and do not worry about
my attention wavering. Believe me if you want to, my
inbox has been cleared of all mails, exceptept yours
which i read over and over again. And this was before
you told me anything about the new id. So, i guess this
could be as much up, close and personal as you wanted
to get ;-))Good night !
*************************************************


Was going through your profile in detail for the first time.
While I download msn messenger for my dear fiance who
wants to chat with me, let me ask you some questions on
ur profile (i ask too many of them dont i ?)1. Whats ur
date of birth ? 2. Are u a true scorpio with the sting:-))
I have quite a few scorpio friends with who i have had
varied experiences (now, dont read b/w the lines), want to
see how similar/diff u r.3. Where do ur parents live ? Do
they still live in Golpark ?4. How many brothers and
sisters do u have ? My msn messenger is not yet done......
16% to go. So I can continue to bug u for some more time.
What do u generally do on week ends ? Do u need to go to
office ? U mentioned something about a one hr drive to ur
office, do u have a car ? which model ? I got a Zen last yr,
my first car, i gifted my parents. I am going to Shopper's
Stop today with papa and ma. they have promised to buy
me things , oh i am so excited. never been to that place
before. is there one in delhi ?Okey dokey..........messenger
is done ! Wont disturb you for some time...........may be
again in the night. tata !See ya.........


kband - Hi M. I got all ur mails even those sent from ur
indiatimes id. I'm not in office today, even though we're
working. Given my Alto for servicing (hottest car for the
hottest guy:-))and few other long-pending acivities to
take care of. I'm sending this mail to u fm my rediffmail
id, u may reply wherever u want. Let me know how ur
shopping jumboree went, what all u picked up n for
whom...R


lea - Dear R, the "M" thing was sweet, liked it ! I got tired
of the indiatimes mail, stupid service. luckily, u received
the mail. So i decided to use my usual id, this is the only
one i use. This was the small surprise.......hope i havent
disappointed u :-)) So u think Alto is the hottest car
around, i am going to disagree on that. Zen is hotter.
but whether u r hot or not....i really cant say, u've been
pretty cool with me. So, is K. Banerjee ur real name ?
U see, i had guessed ur surname right ? I am the beauty
with brains(hee hee). I am planning to buy quite a few
things, like a salwar suit, some hot tops, may be some
earrings to go with all that. i am planning to buy a nose
stud.....i know my papa is going to shout.....the problem
is i will buy them and then just stop wearing them all of
a sudden. sab mood pe depend karta hai yaar! my ma has
prepared fish fry (bong style) at home. ummm, doesnt
that sound mouth watering ?>hmmmm, chalo then, will
chip in later. Happy working, and servicing......Do mail
back ! M.....



(to be continued)