Straight from the Heart

(continued from previous post dated 19th July)
Increasingly Bengali, our mother tongue, became the medium
of expression. Perhaps it was sign of the growing bond or
maybe it was the way the heart speaks to reveal without
ambiguity the attachment of the creator and the creation!


lea - Theek hoyeche ! ekdom theek hoyeche ! Ma ke bolchilam
je amaar ek bondhuke police -e dhorechilo, ma bollo, ke bolechilo
eto jore chalate ! khoob boktaam jodi aapnake shamne petam.
oof ur english at times becomes so difficult to understand.......
not exactly ur english, its what u try to convey. now tell me
those lines are written by whom "aponmoner madhuri...)
(sorry if its a stupid question.........), and then tell me what be-
numbs you and what is ur creation ? i didnt understand a thing
of all that u wrote, so i demand that u explain !!! and this time,
not so cryptically...:-))
arre shotti bolchi, tomar (ishshsh abaar shei bhul, thaak ebar
aar shonshodhon korlam na - i can see someone grinning!) mail
pode, amaar -o thik tai mone hoy. i dont have any friends
currently with whom i can discuss our literature, all the grt
bengali poems, novels, our songs (adhunik, robindroshongeet)
.....hemonto, manna, kishore, sandhya.......offf, i had also been
missing something. my father is the only other person with
whom i enjoy all this.
aami bonedi badi-r meye noi go.....aami ekebaare benebadi-r
meye. we r originally from chinsurah (chuchro), amaader badi
ache okhane, though i have been brought up in calcutta. u wont
believe, kodin thekei khoob ichche hochche ghoti hata blouse
pore, ekta lal pede sharee (in typical bengali style), bodo ekta
khopa, lal teep, onek goyna pore ghore bedate...........infact i
was telling my fiance yesterday. Aar ishshsh, punjabi -ra abaar
romantic kobe theke holo ? romance tomance oder dara hobe na,
ota amaader bangali-der patent :-)) bhebe dekho to........
tahole"tui"-ta baad dilam. Achcha tumi gaan gao na ? chobi aakte
paro, ba kono instrument bajate paren ?



kband - Ku jhik jhik...eibaar ekdom time-e choley elaam.
Tumney pukara aur.....eto keno amakey kolkatay dakadaki
koro boloto M ? Abaar shongey niye picture dekhar, market
jabaar shokh (fully armed with some kind of sursuri debaar
patent!)....boli byapar ta ki??? Jokhon hoot korey choley asbo
na, tokhon dekhbey aar rokkha nei, shob usool korey chcharbo
(paonar khatata bhorey utheche) including the 100/- which
you are so glad that I got relieved of!What's so cryptic about
the product of my imagination, Madhuri ? Naki shob ghorar
mookh thekey shuntey chao - you breathe life into Tagore's
gaaner koli....and prance around in front of my moner jaanla...
which suddenly metamorphoses into a obosh kora feeling deep
within.......see I explained to you in shuddho bangla :-))
Come on M, romoni-der bojha aro onek beshi kothin, you know
that! Bonedi badi thekey bene badi....hmmm rochona ta ektu
gooblet holo botey, tobey Chunchro-r meye to, tai choley jabey:-)
We are from Rishra, my jethu stays there (thamma passed away
couple of years back), I love the Gonga-r ghat there, as a kid I
was too sacred to take a dip....but sitting on its banks on a
moonlit night and hearing the splashing waters is such a soothing
experience, boley bojhano jayena.
I know you sleep fully dressed, completely covered, etc. etc.
somehow a dishevelled image came into the mind...poda mon:-)



lea - Theek ache jao, aar ek dom tanatani korbona........aar
kokkhono daakbo na tomai, maane aapnake, amaar boyei
geche. jodi ashen-o kolkataye, amaake ek dom janaben na, aar
aami jaante parleo, ek dom dekha korbo na...........ke jaane ki
baaje motlob aapnar. :-(( aar kichchu likhbo na, khoob raag
korechi ! eke to eto shedhe shedhe daako tar opor abaar........
jao ! shobbujhi, onek to shokhi ache, shobai bujhi kaache daake,
tai aar kolkataye ashar shomoy nei !!!
baba re baba, amake eto keno je, ki aar bolbo, nijeke kokhono
ebhabe to dekhini ba bhabini.....dekho ek din thoke jeo na jeno.
my mausi lives in rishra, went there abt 2 weeks back, just
before i met you :-)) i didnt know it had a gonga-r ghat, we
used to go to the one in chunchro....o wonderful feeling, but
then its been so many years. shotti, moonlit night and gongar
ghat, aar robindronath (kobita, gaan, novel konta baad di) ooof,
ki romantic bolun to ? shei jonnei to bolchilam, romance maane
bengalis, we have beaten everyone to the pit! oh, that reminds
me, my friend who once went to France told me you should
never go there without ur GF or else u start staring at others'
GFs, and u feel all the more horrible coz they r always liplocked
wherever found with their BFs (hahahaha). since then i have
always had a desire to go to France. well, i have witnessed
similar things in the US.........but somehow they dont come
anywhere near the romance i was referring to.
a month back we had been to puri (tan hasnt gone yet), and in
the evenings, my father and I used to sing all our favourite
bengali songs sitting on the beach, recite all our favourite poems
and talk abt our favourite movies and dialogues, my father is an
excellent singer u know, of course nowadays gola othena, tokhon
i chip in! And whats that dishevelled image, hmm ? thaak baba
jene kaaj nei...........bhalo kore ghumou, aar shopno dekho, maane
dekhben! choli..........M



kband - Eto raag noi go, ejey...I know what it is Rags, sorry
Mads. It is nothing but a morbid fear of having to face the
same fate as I have done unto several other innocent hasinas
like you ! Otherwise, since that day why do you keep your
bedroom window securely shut every night ? Let me give you
some vital info then - I'm coming to Calcutta shortly and
intend to go to AC Market for Golgappas, College St for coffee,
Elgin Road for momos, Shiraz for Biryani, Bedouin for roll......
why are your eyes becoming chchanabora now ? I know you'll
run to your Baba now and complain - Dekho na ki rokom
osobbho lok, amaake kothao niye jaye na, kichchu khaowaye na...
and your baba lovingly will pat you and say - Mamoni, aar to
tumi shei chhotto khuku nou, onek boro hoyechcho, ebar nijer
raag nijey shamlatey sekho......ha ha ha. And you know who'll
be my constant companion in this sojourn - come closer, let me
whisper....that's better now I can feel your earlobes...............
she's the one and only, enchanting, lovely, Ms Tanhai....mein
aur meri tanhai......


(to be continued)

Can't Be Serious

(continued from previous post dated 9th July)
As we started digging deeper, the serious overtones were
gradually overtaking the jovial mood which had set the
backdrop of our fledgling relationship. Perhaps it was time
to bring back the smiles and obliterate the miles.


lea - Dear R, chee chee, bhool kore "tumi" bole phelechi....
aamaar kheyal chilo na........e ma........aar bolbo na. R,Its not
that i just like reading ur mails........i like you, the way i know
you thru ur mails, after all ur mails are nothing but U. Do
not worry abt getting carried away, didnt i promise you that
i will seek the direction when reqd ? So do not worry at all.
Be my friend, just the way u r. No pretensions and no fear!
Thank you so much for all ur good wishes, i am going to wish
you the same, may God give you peace and happiness in
every sense. beshi serious hoye gechi aamra, looking for
some humour from you, which i am sure u will provide as
usual ! ;-)) Bhalo "thakben"..........M
(bhool shonshodhon-e apotti thakle janaben ;-) hee hee



kband - Wake up, lazybones ! Almost time to say Good
Afternoon now, chalo I'll excuse you this time knowing about
your backache. So how's it going now or has it gone ? Don't
you hear the banging on your door ? That's another pain...
...the more you keep him waiting, the more unbearable he'll
become. The other more dangerous thing could be that he
may just sneak in thru your bedroom window and..........tiptoe
off to.........your kitchen and gobble up all the yummy stuff
(aloo parathas ?) your Ma has lovingly made for you ! Don't
worry, there's still some coconut chutney left in the fridge
(prepared 3 days back) and you can lick that in despair :-))
Hey, I can see you leaping out off your bed......where are you
off to, you're not even dressed properly...steady now...no
one's going to take anything away from you least of all your
favourite dishes, it was just another food for your thought....



lea - OK OK, i am up now........after a sumptuous lunch (hee
hee). u know i wake up at 5.30 in the morning everyday and
walk for 45 mins on the terrace. i did hear the banging on
the door.......but decided not to open........cant trust u at all u
see...esp since u urself said i wasnt even properly dressed.
btw, how did u know ? KI BAAJE LOK RE BABA !



kband - Bhool ki bachchi, you are nothing but the empress of
tease :-) I can sugar you from bone to bone, you want me to
come to you with my solemn entreaties and then shower me
with your benevolence...mmmm.....I like it that way :-))
Sheti hochche na M, say whatever you like but 'tui' er porjaye
ashakori jetey hobey na. This weekend, try 'Big Bazaar' (near
airport) for a complete family shopping experience. Key kaake
gyan dichchey....ek haatey kiney onno haatey bechey ditey
paro tumi :-) Aaj tobey eituku thaak, baki kotha................
Shubho Ratri



lea - See R, thats another reason why i love ur mails, u
exactly understand what i try to convey.......no matter how
implicit :-)) moreover u always sugar me;-))
Hmmmmmm, tahole dekhchi, tui chada aar shob kichu bola
allowed.........kintu jokhon nije theke kichu bollenna, aami aar
ki kori "aapni" tei phire jai.....:-(tumi-ta na hoy dekha hole
tokhon..........(ishsh koto ashaa!) btw, tui -te eto apotti keno,
sheta kom romantic bole?;-)) oye, i am that big a shopping
freak..........but then I AM ! hee hee ! u know what i havent
shopped on my own in India, i used to hate shopping like
anything, my parents used to drag me to the markets during
the poojas. but once i went to the US, i had no choice but to
shop on my own........bas aur kya ? shopped shopped and
shopped, since then i am a shopping freak, but i have visited
no other malls here except new market(sheta to choto bela
thekei) and shoppers stop. i have heard a lot abt big bazaar,
want to go there sometime. want to accompany?
ei tumi, maane aapni kobe calcutta ashchen bolun to ? madhuri
.....oi je kotha ta bolechilen na - "apon moner madhurimishaye...."
kon kobita-r (naki ganer?) ektu please janaben. shesher kobita
nishchoi porechen ? kemon lage?



kband - I got caught yesterday! By a traffic policeman. He
caught me for over-speeding (>50Kmph!) and wanted to
slap a fine of 400 bucks!!!! After protracted negotiations
and acrimonious exchanges, a deal was settled for Rs 100
towards his chai-pani. Now you know mujhe gussa kyun
aata hai!
"..hothath paowaye chomke othey mon". These are your
lines M, but I get benumbed sometimes at the startling
image of my own creation -Tumi shondhyaro meghomala
Tumi aamaro sadhero sadhona, Aami apono moner Madhuri
mishaye tomarey korechhi rochona...I'm a little relieved now
that I've been able to come out with an answer but I'm no
stalwart in this field. I'm just a music lover who's fascinated
by the golden voices of Hemonto, Konika, Arati, Sondhya,
Manna, Shyamol, Kishore....I badly miss Calcutta in that
sense...I grew up there in the company of their songs...what
we get here are pale imitations....Through your mails M, I
seem to inhale that "shonda maatir gondho" which explains
the musical interludes - Hariye jaowa monti aamar phiriye
tumi aanley aabar..........
Eeeeeeeeeks!!! You get up at 5.30 and then take a walk in
the terrace ! Next you'll tell me that you do a riyaaz with
your tanpura for an hour !!It all seems so sugary and nice,
like you're straight out of the Bengali classics which I so
loved to read - North Calcutta-r bonedi poribarer ekmatro
meye ghoti haata blouse porey chhhadey beraye.........
I realise I must've hit you below the belt with the 'lazybones'
tag and I promise not to say that again unless you become
too lazy to send me your mails :-))
Tumi/Aapni, what nonsense ! I'll get rid of your misery
(enjoyable one, eh) with - say "You" say me - after you've
had your fill in Bengali, replace all the sombodhon with "you"
wherever applicable...let's see what a jogakhichuri that
becomes! And I find here Punjabis calling their wives - "tu",
is that any less romantic? You make up your mind.


(to be continued)

True Colours

(continued from previous post dated 1st July)
Black soon dissipated with the dazzling aura of many-
splendoured charms and fond reminiscing brought back
the original hues of our lives. I was keen to know what
kept her in the best of spirits always.....

lea - See, theres no reason for me to be sad (touch gold).
I have a wonderful family, not only my parents but all my
family members (dida, dadu theku shuru kore kaku, pishi,
mashi, mama, even friends) everyone loves me. Its not that
i am an extraordinary person, but i have been simply lucky
u can say. I have also been lucky in love.....my fiancee... i
met him in college.....and since then we have been together
.........like friends, like enemies (we fight all the time) like
partners, and he has filled my life with nothing but
happiness. And of course i have wonderful friends who are
always there to support me whenever i want, they wont
even ask me any questions, they would just do. As far as
my professional life is concerned, i am working in a good
company, earning quite well, i have made few foreign trips
also (thats also one criteria for people nowadays:-)) So
whats there for me to be sad about ? what else can i ask
for? not that there have been no setbacks in my life, there
have been, and i have also had to struggle, but then thats a
part of life. This is all R..........but why do u ask ? Listen its
not necessary that u be as cheerful as i am, maybe u have
real problems and they are much more serious than mine
ever were........see if i dont know what ur problem is i wont
be able to comment in fact i should not. Kintu holo ta ki
aapnar aaj ? Eto keno depressed? Amar kono bhool hoy ni
to? aar suspense na badiye,bolun kichu...



kband - Are you a magician M, or a shrink (oops Monos-
tottobid) ? You must have some jadoo in what you say and
what you do that makes others cheerful and they keep you
happy in return. Otherwise, how does all my blues disappear
as soon as you are back with me ???You are so naive that
even for all the complications that I am beset with, you think
you are responsible ? You try your best to help me, give all
you can to make me feel better and still wonder if anything's
wrong with you ? Yes I hold you guilty for being so late :-)
but am also pleased that the rest has given you some relief!
You are lucky M, I really envy you ! Otherwise there are lots
of people who have all that you got and much more and are
still searching for that elusive pot of gold at the end of the
rainbow, believe me. Its something to do with expectations
perhaps...anyway nothing for a pure, simple and genuine
person like you need to know anything about. I never
expected to find a person like you here, I always felt that
this is a place for satiating unfulfilled desires (in various
forms) and maybe I'm just one of them ! My aim was to
provide solace to others while seeking happiness and peace
in the process. How you've turned the tables and effectively
preached the preacher in your own unique style! I'm grateful
to have you as my friend and would try to become worthy of
your friendship. Thanks a lot, Madhuri



lea - I dont know what to say.........I know how painful it
must have been for you, and its still now probably. But
didnt u keep in touch with her after u came to calcutta?
And why didnt u want to marry her if you loved her so
much........was it because ur family and hers wouldnt
accept you alliance ? Oh, silly me, i am sure you both would
have thought of everyhting, moreover marriage is not the
only thing in life. But dont you write to her now ? Do u at
least know where she is now, whether she is married, and
what she is doing? U know R, my fiance is a telugu brahmin,
and I am a bengali non brahmin. They are veg, and we are
pakka NV, moreover he is younger to me (8 months)..........
for the last 5 years i have lived in such a nightmare.....i never
ever thought that our parents would accept, in fact in the
beginning they didnt at all. i waited waited and waited........
and then finally the issues were raised at both places. And
touch gold, this time they understood (i still feel scared
though)................just cant tell you how all that felt...........i
used to cry for hours and days thinking what i'd do if they
didnt agree. We had decided one thing, that we wouldnt
marry if our parents didnt agree, just couldnt think of
eloping and hurting them. but then we knew that we would
never ever marry anyone else in our lifetime. Oh i can only
thank god and my parents and the well wishes of all our
friends that it has now become possible for me to dream of
our marriage..........u brought tears to my eyes today...........
ur life n times as well as mine..........so this inconsequential
chapter has done one thing.............it has brought us closer
as friends, that much i can say.........
Dear R, i am not going to give any gyan, but if it ever makes
u feel better to share ur sorrows, or just mundane
happenings.........please dont hesitate...of course i may not be
able to do anything but be a sounding board...........I am going
to wish and pray for ur happiness and peace. And i am also
going to ask you to give me back my reckless, headless,
shameless f"R"iend........U could treat this as a command :-))
and better follow!! tanahole bhalo hobe na bole dichchi kintu!
bhalo theko.........



kband - I am touched by your empathy though I never
wanted you to be sad ever. However you never cease to
amaze me with your grittiness and spirit. I see shades of
Kalpana Chawla in you. Not in any fatalistic way, the
comparison just came to me, having read so much about
her and how she reached all that heights through sheer
belief in herself and what she wanted from life ! I had
realised that you seem to feel a bit insecure (don't ask me
how) and now I understand. You've stood firmly on
slippery grounds (where others like me had to bite the dust)
and I wish you both all the very best for a grand future !!!!!
Let me tell you, in today's circumstances, love(whatever that
means) has to be an inextricable part of married life and
that's what helps you in ironing out the wrinkles else you
get locked in a dungeon of perpetual misery (that's why to
some 'marriage' is a word and to others a sentence). So,
you are on the right track M, and knowing you, I'm certain
that you won't make anyone anything else but happy.
I am an intense type of person, so for all your liking for me
(my mails), I may sometimes get a bit carried away. Please
don't misunderstand me then, I have nothing but warm
sentiments for you always, particularly as you have come
closer to me with a 'tumi sombodhon' (mistake?). So let's
forget the blues and enjoy ourselves -Aaj ki anondo akashey
batashey:-)


(to be continued)

Twist in the Tale

(continued from previous post dated 24th June)
Suddenly dark clouds seemed to hover in from nowhere.
From the convivial atmosphere and the glorious sunshine,
the mood turned distinctly sombre. She had not been
writing for sometime.......


kband - I think I heard a thunderclap! A storm may be
brewing, or the eerie silence on your part may just be the
lull before the storm !! Did I violate any code of conduct,
only uparwallah knows, but before any further damage is
inflicted, let me meekly comply to one of your earlier
wishes, i.e. commands - so here's my version of yesterday's
tale (whatever made you think that you were in the feature
role? I only said that to draw some comparison...in fact, had
it been you, dinner should've been ordered by you, it was my
'birthday' remember??):
......togetherness. The crackling flames lit up the darkness
with a golden aura while they both searched for that
unknown strain of happiness within each other. The still
night reverberated with the sound of their song -
Aaj mon cheyechche aami hariye jabo
Hariye jabo aami tomar sathey
Shei ongikarer rakhi poriye ditey
Kichchu shomoy rekho tomar haathey......
Tai jaa dekhi aaj shobi bhalo laage
Notun gaaner surey chchondo jaage
Jeno diner alor moto shohoj hoye
Eley aamar gohono raatey......
The first rays of the sun brought along with it hope. The
silhouette of a sailing ship could be seen in the distance as
it made its way towards the island. She felt someone
clutching at her heart and looked at me only to find a silent
drop of sorrow about to roll off my eyes. She felt the pain
herself and came forward to wipe my tears but just as she
touched me, I turned into a rock!
As the ship sailed away with her, try as she might, she just
couldn't help turning and looking back at the island where
she had been - there were no trees, no jungle there, only
milllions and millions of bright yellow roses that were
glowing in the sun............................



lea - Hmmmm, I see you have grown pretty restless
without my mails........dheeraj rakhiye vats ! the pain in my
back increased and i got a bahana to leave office..so couldnt
reply in time. I can see that u have really become very
besharam, wouldve pulled ur ears had u not been in delhi
and not so elder to me. And now i need to know what that
R dash dash means, hope u will follow my orders ;-))
Huggies ?????? Dont even think abt it !Oh , but i loved
your version of the tale.......well written, but why that
sorrow ? What is it thats bothering you or bothers you ?
OK, I am not going topush you. And abt keeping my mouth
shut.......well, what can isay ? Lastly, what is it that you dont
have, and for which i am being held as responsible :-)



kband - Plz leave that pc n go take some rest M, u need it.
and also try not to think of me or my mails for sometime.
I told u i was a pain...



lea - See this is where i say u r like a 24 yr old ! Arre baba,
it was a bahana for me to leave office anyway. moreover R,
there is someone who is dying for my mails, my dear fiancee,
he is waiting for me ... so iwill be onlione for some time. btw,
wheres ur long mail ? And dare u ever say u r a pain ! And
thanks for the yellow roses, they r my favourite.........ok i am
stealing those roses from ur date, now dont be cross with me!



kband - i've told u 2 stay away doesn't mean u can't tell
me how u r doin. i went to mandir y'day and prayed for u.
kindly let me know whether u r better, i'm worried.



lea - OOOre BABA, Eje ek dum bokaboki shuru kore dilen!
I am doing much much better.......i took the day off, slept all
day, just woke up to take my lunch :-)) So i am feeling much
better. Thank you so so much for praying........that was so
very nice of you R. And sorry for not telling you abt my
condition yesterday...plz aar raag korben na.U didnt even
mail me today.........me being at home and not mailing , must
have given u a golden opportunity to mail and chat with ur
other friends :-( Go, i'll not mail again !!!



kband - I'm not an open book, you are. I'm not able to
share my feelings, you can. I'm not level-headed, you
definitely are. You have wings to fly, I'm rooted in this
morass. You are jovial and happy, I'm perhaps paranoid
about sorrow. You are like "a whiff of fresh air", I'm caught
in the whirlwind. You are an angel of light, I am a messiah
of darkeness.......................................
So why do you like my mails ?



lea - Oh come on Rana. Well I will not force you to share
things but if it would help you in any way please do let me
know whats wrong with you. amaar torof theke ki kono
bhool hoyeche ? Jodi shottikarer bondhu mone kore
thaken tahole bolte paren.



kband - I took up my first job at Nasik for an R&D lab
working on Robotics (my specialisation in college). The
unit was nestled between two small hills and had a
picturesque setting about it. The job was enjoyable with
friends as colleagues and we had great fun together in
these initial years. We visited Mahabaleshwar, Lonavala,
Matheran and many other places from there and I look
back at these days with fond memories.
However the fondest memories I have of Nasik are of a
Marathi girl with whom I was madly in love. She was a
neighbour who for some strange reason felt I looked like
Shashi Kapoor (nothing could be farthest from truth!)
and fell for me hook, line and sinker. She was barely out
of her teens and we met clandestinely for a while, I even
tried to pick up some Marathi to chat with her.
But then we were caught ! By her brother-in-law, who
barged into my flat and saw me with her. Then the scenes
were straight out of a hindi film, with he threatening me
with dire consequences if I dared to come anywhere near
her. I felt it was best for me to shift to some other place
and did so promptly. But I was not able to tell her where
I lived and was desperate to meet her again. Lady luck
smiled on me and I spotted her in the same train in which
I was going to Mumbai. Some discreet glances later, I
managed to pass on my new address. Sure enough she
was there soon, and we renewed our association with
new fervour.
Few years passed but somehow we had not made any
future plans together - we just liked to be with each other
for as long as possible. Then I got a job in Calcutta and
decided to leave Nasik. She was completely distraught
and would not let me go. But then she became practical
and came to my place for the last time with a bouquet
of flowers. I took some snaps of her and we bid goodbye.
The snaps, by a quirk of fate, got damaged and all that
remains with me are her pile of letters. I will never forget
her and I don't think she'll too. Her birthday falls on 15th
of May (the same as that of Madhuri Dikshit)...............
So there you are, with another inconsequential chapter from
my life.


(to be continued)