More Fairy Tales

(continued from previous post dated 9th Apr)
This time I wanted to to tell a story which would be
co-authored by her. She didn't exactly warm up to the
idea, but then very much lived up to my imagination!


kband - I took someone out for a dinner date yesterday.
When she came out to meet me, it was the most beautiful
sight to behold. She was in a purple dress with white
polka dots that seemed to sparkle like glowworms in the
darkness. Her hair flowed loose casually over her shoulders
and a band of wild flowers adorned her forehead. Her eyes
gleamed in the moonlight as she held out her hand to hold
mine. We walked on the beach and felt the sand melt
beneath our bare feet. We stopped awhile and breathed
deeply to inhale the fragrance of the night. The
shimmering waves in the sea whispered lilting melodies in
the wind and slowly arm in arm we started sashaying with
the trees, the clouds, the stars....softly dancing a slow waltz
together. The flames were kept low as we sat beside it
saying nothing but expressing it all with the eyes which
were locked with each other. Then she looked at the
distance and began humming a sweet, golden tune. I tried
to breathe life into my wooden flute and it responded with
the harmony of joy. I could see the hue of a faint smile at
the corner of her lips and we stared in unison into the
unknown horizon far far away. There was no hunger, no
yearning, only the bliss of togetherness........



lea - Baap re........this is something i am not good at.
Penning down imaginations........baba re, this isnt my cup
of tea, esp when it ur dinner date.....and i have no idea of
what u have in mind with ur date. ok, let me give it a try
since u wanted it to be a joint effort, but plz dont expect
anything grt, i am warning you !
She sings the song admiring every moment at ur expertise
with the flute, and wondering what other latent talents u
have. Then she asks you about your life - from the
beginning till the end, and you being "you" leave all
questions unanswered. She decides not to pursue, after
all that was the promise she had made before agreeing
for the date. She tells you all about herself, her childhood,
her entry into the adult world, how she matured over the
years, etc etc. As the first rays of the sun begin to hit the
sands, you and she enjoy the sunrise together and decide
to call it a day (night rather). She thanks you for the
wonderful time she'd had with you, you reciprocate (u
flatter her.....and she is flattered ;-) just like me - oh poor
girl) And as she turns to leave, she opens her hair-band
(of wildflowers) and gives it to you as a parting gift. You
are overwhelmed by this gesture and manage to mutter
something about you being sorry for not giving her
anything in return. She goes home and curses you for
keeping her hungry throughout the night, coz you were so
taken in by her charm and beauty that u had forgotten to
order dinner!!!! And you give me a call at the wee hours
of the morning (I curse you too) to tell me how the date
went and I offer you some valuable tips from the book
"101ways to DATE better".......
.......I am extremely sorry, R, if I havent made a good
story out of this...I am really not very good in such matters
........not that i have never imagined anything of this sort
in my life........but to write it down inwords.......its very
difficult. Please dont feel bad for the funny aspects of the
story.....i wasnt making fun of you, believe me...its just that
...i cant explain...please forgive me. This is the best I could
do. I would really appreciate if you let me know what
exactly you had in mind with ur date........i am sure it
was much more than this ;-)(hee hee)Waiting....



kband - Fantastic M, you're too good ! The ending was
really superb !!!Tumi khomar joggo nou, tumi jey kiser
joggo seta ekdin theek bujhiye debo :-)) Though it
appears to be an anti-climax, it is an eye-opener for me
in that there seems to be a deep-seated message
somewhere. Without even referring to your Tips book
one thing is clear - the best route to your date's heart is
through her stomach ! Anyway, I'm planning to send this
story to some women's magazine and earn a few extra
bucks. I'll possibly name it " A Dream Date that turned
into a Nightmare" :-)) Now for the quid-pro-quo. It was
not my birthday yesterday ! It's not today, not tomorrow
- I share my birthday with the patron saint of the Sikhs
and am a Scorpio to the core. I can hear you screaming now
- cool it, M you're in office :-)) But why did I do it ?
Difficult question, simple answer. I simply couldn't resist
the urge to hear you sing ! As the opportunity otherwise
could come only in November (who knows about the
future?), I resorted to this subterfuge so that you call me
up and send me into the orbit of ecstasy. You let me down
on that count (I'll still wait for the song in November) but
I must admit to have been overwhelmed by your wishes,
thank you once again M ! I hope you have sobered down
now, or are you still fuming ?? I never meant to take
'advantage of your innocence' but only gave in to my inner
craving. Ok ok M, I'm sorry, maybe it's all fair and square
now, now smile :-))One other thing, the details in my profile
are accurate (as on date) except one parameter. You will
perhaps find that out one day ! A hopeless R



(to be continued)

Spinning Yarns

(continued from previous post dated 4th Apr)
The virtual world beckoned reality from time to time. In
the midst of imagination and fantasy, there were sessions
of story-telling drawn from myriad experiences.


lea - Rollicking time with a special person" - reminds me
of Rollick, in turn reminds me of ice creams, the ones we
used to have in Delhi (Noida to be precise) Have u ever
tried the "Manhattan Mania" at the Nirula's. Its amazing!
btw, who is this special person ? I am off to the library
to check out Business Today as well as India today.
Incidentally my fiance has also asked me to check out an
article in india today. Will be back soon.



kband - M, looks like u've been accosted in the library,
taking ages to return. Meanwhile then let me spin a yarn
(hey it rhymed!):
There was a guy who was an ok student in school. He
studied very hard for his Board exams and his parents,
teachers were expecting him to do well. All papers
passed without a hitch, then it was the turn of Geography
for which he had prepared thoroughly. It was a cakewalk
for him all the way and he replied to all questions with
flourish. Then he saw something. The guy sitting next to
him was merrily copying from a book hidden on his lap.
The cheat winked at him and thrust the book while
whispering - don't look at me, you can also do the same!
Oblivious to the teacher's eyes the book now lay with
him and he leafed thru it with trembling hands. The
exact answers stared at him from the pages and he found
himself noting them down on his answer sheet. He was
sweating profusely at the end of it all but was relieved
that he was not caught! When the results were declared,
the guy came out with flying colours, he even managed
to get a state rank. But to his horror, he had scored
relatively poor marks in Geography which was
inexplicable to his teachers. Then he realised that he
had been judged by someone else, an omniscient who
had indeed caught him cheating !



lea - Dear Fairy God mother, please gift me a pumpkin,
so i could fry some with besan and eat, i love kumdo
bhaja ! hahahaha ! I know u r know beating ur head
against the wall, thinking what a nutcracker of a person
u have asked to walk alongside you. OK, enough! I am
going to be serious from now on.
Porosher bodole shudhu dharosh - i mone elo ? i was
serious u know :-(( oh, i had asked for some advice
from you and all u can do is to feel jealous. Dont worry,
u will also be invited in that rendezvous so that u dont
complain ! And i dont read any mills n boons stuff, i hate
sugary tales - girl meet boy type stories. And i dont want
to "sing" in that red gown, there are better things to do
.......like dance for example.....nice slow waltz.....
forget it, u r again going to laugh at me ! i read that article
u were talking abt, interesting figures. the market is
expected to grow a lot, it says, means more work for u.
But tell me one thing, do u only sell to the defense dept
or to other companies also, i mean do u only make such
equipment?
I too would not really entertain the idea of going at 1 am
to india gate just for an ice cream, coz it might be unsafe.
But u could take me to ....... lemme think... PRIYA (PVR
as they call it now).... for a good movie, cant you ?
Mr.Headless.......I am ready to walk with you, but what if
we both get lost ?
I didnt know u would be waiting for my mail. The story
was like those we used to read in our moral science class.
But was there something you wanted to convey R ?
Sorry for not understanding. Well time for me to leave for
the day, got to catch my office bus, i live quite far from
my office. There was a small photography session in the
office with one of my colleagues taking photos with his
camera. i loved my photos being taken :-)), do you ?



kband - Oh Madhuri, for once my vocab fails me, I have
no words to explain what you've been doing to me, it all
seems like a dream. Swapan jodi modhur emon...jagiyo
na amaye jagiyo na.
What can I give someone who has made me a pauper ?
Are my shoulders broad enough to ever provide you
comfort ? Will you hold my hand and seek direction if
we're lost in the wilderness ? What do you need from me,
M ? The story was from real-life teaching its many
lessons, there's no other significance. I just felt like
sharing it with you. Can the Fairy Godmather fulfil the
wish of watching a movie together at PVR ? Let me
continue dreaming....


(to be continued)

Express-ions Unlimited

(continued from previous post dated 23rd March)
The fast one that I pulled on her about my fictitious
birthday, actually helped in accelerating the momentum
of our exchanges. The eagerness to read and reply to
each others' mails reached hilarious proportions.

kband - I was getting used to starting the day with a
dosage of your mail, so had no other option but to file a
Missing complaint with Lalbazar :
Name : Madhuri alias lea alias M alias many other
Residence : Global citizen presently in Calcutta
Profession : Cook, singer and everything else
Description : Big black innocent eyes with long curly hair
Sex : prefers not to say!!
Likes : to eat chocolates
Dislikes : people mis-pronouncing her name, a particular
guy, etc.
Distinctive feature : wears nose-studs (sometimes)
Last seen : outside Shoppers Stop applying mehndi
If found, kindly pesuade the absconding person to send
a mail asap.



lea - Hahahahaha ! Oh my god, u r simply amazing, i have
people staring at me this moment because i am laughing
out loud (all ur fault). But I object at u leaving a particular
column blank, Iwas beginning to think thats the whole
crux of this"date". And who's the "particular" guy I dislike
..... does thename start with R ? You've been so clever to
put together all the pieces uhave on me........good work !
Wait till u see what I have to say on you - u r very
naughty, that what u r ! oh, btw, i dont wear nose studs..
i had worn them for a few days when i was in delhi doing
my grad, many years back. but very eager to try them
again. but how it would look on an old lady like me... i am
not very sure. any comments ?
Where the hell r u ??? I've sent you 3 mails, and i have
wished u too ! Since them i am waiting waiting and
waiting. May be this is another trick to find out how i
long to receive ur mails ! Khoob baje !



kband - My un-Fair Lady ! Firstly, let me thank you
for warm wishes. So hearing you sing will remain a
distant dream, chalo dekha jayega. But why do u want
to hear me sing in a local train begging for alms ? The only
thing I seek from you - majhe majhe praney tomar porosh
khani diyo..Don't try to confuse me with your age M, you
tried in the beginning but it did not work :-)) I've done a
reality check already, remember which class you were in
when you went to see "Octopussy" ? Simple maths,
elementary my dear Watson ! The present theory I'm
working on is when you came to Calcutta - a little bird
tells me that it couldn't be too many months back, am I
right ? Ohh, I have to be extra careful in not hurting
this old lady (sweet, gullible girl)!!!!I'm worried about
losing my phone no. coz one thing leads to another and
very soon I may be deprived of my precious possessions
:-)) Incidentally, that column (Missing) was not kept
vague, the innuendo referred to exactly what has been
indicated in your profile ! Just joking, it's all ur fault now
with that dustu-mishti provocation.
Be careful of another 35+ weirdo !



lea - Oh Rana, U r really dushtu ! The "prefer not to say"
was for something else and u turned it into.....ooof...dhatt!
Aapnar shonge para khoob kothin.....but i will not admit
defeat so soon. My apologies for wanting to hear u sing
as a beggar, chee chee, i didnt mean it R, I am sorry.
Hope u didnt feel bad. Praner porosh.......i really dont
know how much and what i can offer, but if my mails give
you some peace........i'll feel honoured. ok ok, i am not 42.
But i am not going to tell you anything abt how long i've
lived here etc ....let me see how clever u r ! as it is u didnt
tell me how long u've lived in delhi. So Mr.Weirdo ;-))
r u also looking for a short/long term relationship ;-))
hee hee ! just kidding! u didnt answer me regarding my
e-dating those other men who are so painstakingly
mailing me daily. please advise. ur reference to holmes,
makes me remember the times when i wanted to marry
him ! if only he existed in real, or at least virtually
(like u ;-)). i had even written a small story where i visit
Sherlock holmes and interview him, and he plays the
violin for me, andi fall in love with him. now, its time for
u to laugh! R, have u watched "my fair lady"? in my next
birth i would be born as a british lady, a very rich person's
wife and i would go to the queen's ball wearing a red
gown, and a flashing necklace of 25 large rubies !
u r sure to lose one thing if i keep writing this mail-
ur head ! so bye bye for now.....M
P.S. - Apnake porosh deowar bodole aami ki paabo ?
remember the "quid pro quo" ?



kband - My dear M, porosher bodoley aar ki ditey pari,
dharosh cholbey? :-)) I didn't realise that u were serious
about my other competitors. Maybe u ought to give
them a fair chance. Call them to your rendezvous, one at
a time or together (as u like it), wear your red gown n
rubies, sing a nice song and serve them some Badam
milk. Then watch the fun ! And I'm going to watch some
more fun when I tell ur wonderful fiance about ur
escapades. As it is u r turning out to be quite a
Draupadi - wanting to marry all those Tom Hanks,
Big B, Mr Holmes, et al.
Sorry Cinderella, instead of the ladiesfinger I should
have offered u a pumpkin which could then fulfil ur
wish of going to a ball in a horse-drawn carriage ! Me
thinks u've had an overdose of the Mills-n-Boon stuff.
Wake up, there are lots of crazy guys knocking at your
door....I'm not much of a foodie, I've upset lotsa people
bcoz of that. Like I freeze at the idea of going to India
Gate at 1 AM to have ice-cream ! So u c, my warts n
moles hv begun to show ;-)) You don't even hv to try
to beat me, I'm a completely lost soul ! And remember
- "Don't walk behind me, I may not be able to lead.
Don't walk ahead of me, I may not be able to follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend".
Khoob kharap loker khopporey porecho Madhuri,
aamar shorbonash korey bhebecho eto sohojey paar
peye jabey ??? Now, don't get scared - bhoukta kutta
kaat-ta nahin :-)) Oh, I think the comparison was too
crude for comfort, anyway. I'd got mucked up with
preparing this stupid report about a meeting that we
had y'day but kept coming back to check out the
mailbox. Was able to browse thru all ur mails, but could
do nothing immediately even as I could well realize that
u r getting livid with rage. The woods are lovely dark and
deep, but.........
Hey, u know what - the current issue of Business Today
(25th May) carries an article about our activities, it's
titled "Firms in Arms". If u can catch hold of a copy,
see if it means anything. I really liked the lines penned
by u, it's you who's amazing, I'm sure many others would
have told u so ! As for me, I take things as they come and
as of now must confess to having a rollicking time with a
very special person - I couldn't have asked for anything
better today. A "Headless" R


(to be continued)